On the first of June I heard those dreaded words "We don't spend any time together anymore...". I quickly recognized the severity of the situation and that I was now in dangerous waters, using my peripheral vision to gauge my surroundings before turning slowly to face the wife, carefully avoiding any sudden movements. It is essential in any potentially life threatening situation facing an unknown creature to not show fear or give an opportunity to attack, thankfully she couldn't yet sense my fear however; like any predator she knew she had me cornered with no chance of escape. Unfortunately I had not yet understood this and quickly made for shore.
"Honey we just went to the movies..."
"That was TWO weeks ago! Do I only deserve your attention twice a month!?"
Now knowing my only escape had been cut off, it was time to batten the hatches, throw on a life preserver and wait out the storm.
"No, of course not, you know I love you; what would you like to do today?"
Sensing she had won she ruthlessly pursued the opening with a full broadside;
"Well I've really wanted to visit the indoor flea market for awhile now... could we do that?"
A smart man would have capitulated, I instead thought there was an opportunity to be had.
"Ok, we can do that. There is a Military Surplus not too far from there I wanted to check out."
Her eyes flashed with lightning and drew a breath, in a desperate attempt to escape the coming gale I fell to my knees begging Poseidon to spare my life by offering my only available sacrifice; figuratively of course.
"Well I can always do that another time, how about a late lunch afterwards?"
"Hmm..."
Apparently my fate was yet to be decided as I could see the eye of the storm gather around me.
As we exited the car and got a first look at the Albuquerque Indoor Flea Market I was gripped by a sudden strangling anxiety of facing the next two hours being dragged through wave after wave of homely castoffs and nick knacks from the elderly and/or insane; truly I had been forsaken. Not being one to disappoint, my wife did indeed head straight for the porcelain figurines. After a time of polite disinterest in her findings I was permitted to wander on my own. Much to my surprise I was able to spy a section in the corner where rod tips and tiny guides were just peeking over some china display cabinet large enough to anchor a freighter and immediately set course.
To my delight I was able to find these;
Yes that is a coffee mug, and my brew has never been saltier
After a time I wandered back to my wife with my plunder and expertly attempted to disguise it beneath and between the items in her cart. Being the parent of a precocious 5 year old she spotted them immediately even as I was nonchalantly inspecting nearby tables.
"What are these?"
"ARRGH....?"
"No"
"The mug is five bucks and the book is two, sweetie"
"'Two' the number, or 'too as well'"
How well she knows my games,
"Two dollars, dear."
"Hmm..." -translation 'Your fate will be decided at checkout'
Shortly thereafter we had gone around the place and were on the way to the register when something caught my eye
After briefly opening either side to assure myself of the legitimacy of my catch I checked the price tag and knew this would have to be played very carefully indeed.
"Ok, I know you're not going to like it but I found a tackle box and would really like to keep it, and I'll even put my other stuff back and not ask for anything else, guaranteed. Its 20 bucks."
I flinched even as I said it knowing she just saw all the cards in my hand and even Alex looked at me in disbelief; she's scary perceptive sometimes. My wife had narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth to respond when Alex reached out putting a hand on her mother's arm and said
"Its ok mom, he's been a good daddy and I can play with it too."
Have I mentioned how awesome my daughter is? That was all it took for her mom to reconsider and allow the extra item before purchasing everything and exiting the store. It seems the storm was only a front and I told myself that I had weathered it bravely as a sailor worth his salt, politely ignoring the fact that I had to be rescued by a child. We headed over to IHOP to get Alex strawberry pancakes, after that performance I was about ready to get her anything.
Later at home going through the bags Alex had this to say;
Alex named the lizards Salty Monster 'Reptics' after asking what that was she calmly explained it was a combination of 'Reptile' and 'Plastics'
"I like touching the slimy ones...Sparkles! AND SLIMY! *SQUEEL*
"This one doesn't have any letters in it. I'll name it "Wild Mexican Eater Lizard"
-Me "Why name it that?"
-Alex "Because it's wild and eats everything daddy."
Later playing with some of them I hear "Tail High Five! *WAPISH* Yeah!"
"Dad they want to go to China on a trip, how do they use their tails to eat with chopsticks?"
-Me "Uhh..."
Tab over to Rods, Reels and Rigs to view pictures of the loot!
